Firsts

  1. First kiss
    Age four. Block corner of my preschool classroom. Michael Schmidt. He was my best friend. He kissed me and I asked him why he did that. He replied, "Because I wanted to." Good answer, buddy.
  2. First job
    I babysat a lot, but my first legit job was working at in the office of the local pool. We occasionally supervised the top of the slide and it led me to become a lifeguard, which is the best summer job ever.
  3. First visit to the principal
    I was a goody-two-shoes so I never really got in trouble until middle school. We had a TERRIBLE literature teacher and I organized all of my classmates to give her the silent treatment during class. The class weenie, Philip, tattled on me, and I got in pretty big trouble. The teacher had a slight breakdown that day and didn't come back the following year.
  4. First boyfriend
    Oh Garrett. We "went out" in sixth grade. We were both tall for our age so we were basically made for each other. He dumped me after Christmas when he gave me a MN Timberwolves necklace (ew) and a Destiny's Child album "Independent Women" (major foreshadowing). Our paths crossed a lot in middle school/high school/college and I actually still see him from time to time.
  5. First apartment
    Uptown Minneapolis. I lived with my college friend/coworker Caitlin (later my MOH). Easily the nicest place I have ever lived. I miss that apartment to this day. It had the best kitchen set up.
  6. First celebrity crush
    Devon Sawa. "Casper" and "Now and Then" were my sexual awakening.
  7. First pet
    Scout. Oh my sweet girl. My husband and I rescued her from the Humane Society in February. We were obsessed; I always wanted a dog growing up and my husband grew up with dogs. She passed away in her sleep about 6 weeks after we brought her home and it broke my fucking heart.
  8. First ambulance ride
    I played fast pitch softball when I was younger, and I was a badass catcher. We had a tournament and it was insanely hot that day. I didn't drink enough to start my day, so I ended up hallucinating and losing consciousness. I woke up in the ambulance with two EMTs (both named Dale) and went to the hospital for a few hours hooked up to an IV.
  9. First stuffed animal
    A stuffed polar bear. I called him Bear. Super original.
  10. First car
    2001 Buick Regal LS. It was my older brother's car, then mine, then his again. He still drives it to this day, which terrifies me.