Should I Be Annoyed By This?

  1. So I don't have the most normal or healthy relationship with my parents
  2. I don't tell my parents a lot of details about my life for multiple reasons, but one of the big ones is that I feel like my mom doesn't actually care about whether I'm happy with what's going on; she just wants details so she can brag to her friends about what's going on with me and make herself feel superior
    Both of my parents are big on presenting the image of a close happy family and it drives the rest of us insane to no end because it's such a lie
  3. I don't want things about my life being used to make someone else feel bad, especially by her
    She has plenty she should feel bad about
  4. Anyway, Husband and I just got back from our trip to Europe, which was magnificent
  5. I didn't talk to my parents the entire trip, which was heavenly
    Husband didn't talk to his either; we were living in paradise
  6. I did talk to my lovely SIL though (my older brother's wife) and she said my mom had asked her for pictures from our trip, assuming that I was sharing them with SIL
    I was posting photos on Instagram every few days, but I never sent photos to anyone directly
  7. SIL played dumb and said she didn't have any photos
    God bless her; she and my brother have a way messier relationship with my parents than I do
  8. So we get back to America and my mom texts me today saying happy 4th of July and welcome back, etc.
  9. Then she says, "K showed me the pictures you posted- they were wonderful."
    K is her sister, my aunt, whom I get along with well. She can see my private Instagram; my mom has zero social media accounts
  10. And I immediately start fuming
  11. My thought process:
  12. If she wanted to see pictures from my trip, she should ask me. Not ask other people if they have seen any and can they share them with her. I find that creepy and weird. If she wants to see things, she can get an Instagram account and follow me. My account is private and I'm relatively selective about who I allow to follow me, but
  13. I would approve her and let her see what's up, especially since I post there rarely (I'm only an oversharer on list 😬) And if she thought I wouldn't share pictures with her, shouldn't that be a bigger concern? Shouldn't that prompt a conversation started by her? All she had to do was ask and I would have sent a handful.
  14. But I feel so weird knowing that she knows this stuff now and it's because she had to ask multiple people to show her pictures vs. asking me
  15. When the holiday is over, I'm going to ask my aunt not to show my mom things on my Instagram anymore
    She knows about the trouble all of us kids have with our parents, so this won't surprise her. She'll probably feel bad and I'll have to tell her multiple times that I'm not mad at her (I'm not at all, it's my mom that's messed up)
  16. I know it's weird to feel this strongly about it, I get it. If I'm posting stuff on social media, I should be fine that people see it. But I'm also very careful about who I approve to see these things and I feel oddly violated by this.
  17. Is it wrong that this bothers me so much?