1. Why didn't they invite the mushroom to the party? Bc he's not a fungi. It's okay there wasn't mushroom anyways...
  2. Why do French people only use one egg to make an omelette? Bc one egg is oeneuf.
  3. Beethoven's fave fruit? BA NA NA NAAAA
  4. Why do gorillas have big fingers? Because they have big nostrils
  5. Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines!
  6. Mexican lady of the night's fave drink? Whore-chata
  7. What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeño business!
  8. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
  9. Time flies like an arrow... and fruit flies like a banana...
  10. What did the dog say when it sat on sandpaper? Rough!
  11. What do you call a monkey in a minefield? A BABOOM!
  12. What was left of the cheese factory after it burned down? Only de-brie
  13. How do you throw a space party? You planet.
  14. What did one fish say to the other in the fish tank? You steer. I'll man the gun.
  15. RIP boiling water. You shall be mist.
  16. Mexican magician tells the audience she's going to disappear without a trace...Uno, dos. And then he vanished without a tres.
  17. What do you do with epileptic lettuce? Make a seizure salad
  18. What do you call a pony's cough? A little hoarse
  19. What the cobbler say to the cat when it entered her shop? Shoe!
  20. What did the cannibal do after dumping his bf? Wiped his butt
  21. Why did the cop smell? Because he was on duty!
  22. What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto
  23. How do billboards talk? Sign language
  24. What does Michael Jackson call his denims? Billie jeans
  25. What do you call ghost poops? Boo boo
  26. Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Cause he got stuck in a crack
  27. So in 2012 Frank Ocean came out as gay. Guess that ocean bicoastal
  28. I hurt my foot the other day while driving. Had to call the toe company
  29. When does a sandwich cook? When it's bakin lettuce and tomatoe
  30. What do Spanish clocks say? Tick taco
  31. Did you hear about the female rapper who was on her period? They say she had a mean flow
  32. What's the best day to cook?