THINGS YOUR EARLY 20S YOUNG JERK SELF AND EARLY 30S NEW FATHER SELF HAVE IN COMMON
some similarities between your quarter life crisis and new parent crisis
- •you're relieved when it's just a fart and not poop.
- •you haven't had sex in months.
- •you find yourself cleaning puke off your shirt at three in the morning.
- •you're really into restaurants that have drive-thrus and/or deliver.
- •you spend all your money on stuff you won't use in a few months.
- •you convince yourself you need a new car.
- •you grow a beard.
- •you consistently roll into work on 2 of hours sleep.
- •you have no idea what you're doing.
- •nobody likes your beard.