Reasons I'm Not Taking a Shot During My Shift

  1. Because we're still working, and it feels reckless and decadent in a not-glamorous way
  2. Because you're pouring Jamison, and I known from the last shot we took that it's a shitty bottle
  3. Because I'm irrationally afraid that I'm pregnant
  4. Because I'm seeing how long it takes me refusing shots for someone to ask if I'm pregnant
  5. Because I drank too much already/last night/over the weekend/at some point in my life
  6. Because it was an easy shift, and I don't need a shot
  7. Because it was a hard shift, and I don't want to need a shot
  8. Because I haven't eaten enough to absorb the alcohol yet
  9. Because I'm driving home tonight
  10. Because my liver needs a break
  11. Because I like feeling clear headed
  12. Because I just want to go to sleep, dude