hats I wouldn't wear even if you paid me

I don't really ever wear hats unless my hair looks bad but here is some hats I wouldn't wear even if my hair was truly awful
  1. trucker hat
    these are the hats with the mesh bit at the back. these always make me think of von dutch - sometimes it was fun to say von dutch in a goofy way. boy those were the days
  2. king's crown
    i am not a king so there is really no reason for me to wear a crown. ok full disclosure i used to be a king but that was a long time ago
  3. beanie with a propeller
    i'm not stylish enough to pull that off
  4. beret
    i don't know how you're supposed to wear these hats and not look like a fucking buffoon
  5. pizza hat that you can eat while you're wearing it
    too greasy
  6. hat that looks like kinda like pikachu
    sorry mom it's like thanks for the birthday present but no thanks I ain't wearin it
  7. hair net
    i actually like wearing these but my friend told me i would look cool if i said i didn't
  8. sorting hat
    stop telling me i'm a gryffindor ok I'm a slytherin for sure I know it