things i should probably have acquired by 27
i'll be 27 in a few months! happy birthday me! here's a bunch of basic things i should have taken care of by now!
- •a drivers licensei have no clue how anyone drives a car. the only time i ever drove was in my mom's shitty geo metro in a tiny parking lot, and she stopped me after like thirty seconds cuz i almost crashed into a pole.
- •practical skillsi don't really know how to do anything useful! i can't program a software or fix a plumbing or anything cool! uh oh!
- •a dogmost people who like dogs have a dog or several - i like dogs but i don't even have one!
- •a diplomai never went to school so i don't even have a single diploma to put on my stupid wall!
- •major financial debti never went to school so i don't even have a crushing student loan that will haunt me forever!
- •an stdi don't even have a single gonnorhea to call my own - when will my reflection show???
- •a huge rashlord knows i've had my brushes with acne and other assorted blemishes, but it's never broken out into a full blown rash! ugh!!
- •a craven curse from a warlocks tonguemy parents always taught me to be courteous to wizards and witches. what am i missing out on??
- •a secretplease somebody tell me a secret