WHY I AM A DORK AT SUNDANCE

my first time here...
  1. My snowboots are sensible, not filmmaker cool.
  2. I do not have a film in competition.
  3. I skew a decade older than the median age
  4. I don't know the name of a single DJ.
  5. I am cold, then hot, then freezing! Not a good look.
  6. I am not excited or impressed, I just want to see the films dammit.... and maybe sell mine.
  7. As a New Yorker, a line is a problem for me, not a networking oppotunity??!!!
  8. I got here late... late, late.
  9. I have no chic black car waiting anywhere.
  10. No one wants my photo, not even me.
  11. I have not spotted any celeb.
  12. I do not have low key, fun 'ski' sunglasses
  13. Not invited to any secret parties, nope.
  14. I could fall into a snowdrift, and not be found until Spring.
  15. My Sundance... is a Spazdance.