thoughts while watching game of thrones, season 1, episode 5

  1. No one tell GRRM I'm saying this because he already has enough to focus on, but there could totally be prequels to these because there is so much about just Ned we don't even know about
  2. "Your mother was a dumb whore with a fat ass" - King Barratheon with ice in his veins #cold
  3. The breast place stretcher is what passes for a jousting Medieval Times joke
  4. Duuuuuuuude, there are other ways to get people's attention, you did NOT need to cut that horse's head off, Jesus man
  5. Tyrion saves Catelyn, and she still brings him to the Vale - ice in her veins
  6. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn Theon!! #forgottenpeenshots
  7. Number of people who have thought Arya was a boy so far: 4
    Syrio, Yoren, two Lannister guards
  8. Ohhhhh so we knew that Jorah was betraying Khaleesi in episode 5, because when she finds out all those seasons later, I was as surprised as she wss #needtopaybetterattention
  9. OMG Robyn Arryn. If you're old enough to ask for it, then you're too old for breastfeeding 🙈
  10. This show is way too liberal with the sounds of oral sex 🙉
  11. Barratheon is surprisingly insightful though no one takes him seriously: when the Dothraki cross the Narrow Sea, shit is gonna get real
  12. OK well this is why no one takes him seriously. Because he says shit like King's Landing is filled with backstabbing, scheming, ass licking and money grubbing. Like, what, Robert, what? #asslicking 🙊