1. Like tweets, but longer.
    And more personal. And without the obligation to read all of your crazy ex-best friend's boyfriend's because, does he even follow you back?
  2. Can replace your Notes app.
    As I always say, publicity is simplicity!
  3. A great way to passive-aggressively write down everything you hate that your boyfriend/husband/parakeet does and put it in a convenient (public) place where they can stumble upon it.
    Also cheaper and more trustworthy than Post-It's.
  4. The next level of social media.
    Some Pretty Cool Shit. Who doesn't want to read all about how your friend Karen interpreted Drake's new music video while also reading up on home recipes for baklava?
  5. @bjnovak created it.
    Those of your friends who know of him will instantly realize how worthy of their time is it. Those who don't will laugh at how his first name could be "blowjob" and download it for fun.