In Portland.
  1. Is it a light rain?
    Nope, don't need one.
  2. Is it a drizzle?
    Mah nizzle? Then no.
  3. Is it raining hard?
    Nope. Not necessary.
  4. Is it super pouring?
    No umbrella is needed, perhaps a newspaper will suffice.
  5. Is it sleeting?
    Rarely happens, but you definitely don't want an umbrella here.
  6. You don't need an umbrella ever.