WHAT I WANTED TO BE GROWING UP, CHRONOLOGICALLY
A never-ending list.
- •A dogYou mean sleep all day, play, be happy & fed without needing a full-time job? I was clearly wise beyond my years.
- •A teacherA total lie. But at least I knew better than the weird girl who blurted out "Princess."
- •A singerMy first single: "Everything's Green In the Bathroom." I know, right? We could have gone platinum.
- •An TV informercial spokespersonAm I the only one who would conduct my own shows during bathtime? Let's not even discuss my obsessions with Nads.
- •A non-alcoholic bartenderMy ruby red grapefruit + fresca mixes are still all the rage.
- •A writerI owe all of my writing chops to Teen Open Diary.
- •A fashion magazine editorYou know, when magazines were a thing.
- •A psychologistWhen reality hit and I realized that an English degree won't get you far but that all of my years dealing with my crazy family would.
- •A lawyerWhen I realized that all of the people in the Psychology department were actually crazy.
- •An advertising graduateWhen I realized that I was crazy and bored by all things law. Being able to work on cool brands? Sign me up!