THINGS I HAVE SAID TO AVOID SOCIAL GATHERINGS
Because "I just don't want to go" is impossible to admit.
- •My cat is giving birth.He was a male.
- •Oh no, you don't have to pick me up. I can find a ride.
- •I have a Netflix date with my mom.Spoiler alert: it's actually a Netflix date with myself.
- •I'm having an allergic reaction to [fruit I don't like]. I should rest.
- •I'm going to be out of the country.[aggressively avoids posting on social media for three to five business days so I can't be geotagged]
- •Oh, I thought you meant next week. Sorry!
- •I have a vet appointment. Wait you meant Friday? Dentist appointment. Maybe next time?
- •This is her sister. She's dead. Please stop texting, we're grieving.Only to be used after the most terrifying date of your life.