Le Batard Show's "looks like" favorites

Listeners of the Dan Le Batard Show tweet in what people in sports look like. Sort of like Jimmy Fallon's superlatives, but they tend to be more descriptive. These are a few of my favorites.
  1. Stan Van Gundy looks like the ring leader of a traveling circus six weeks from bankruptcy.
  2. Wade Phillips looks like someone you would find on a bottle of barbecue sauce.
    He also looks like a flabbergasted Boy Scout troop leader in the woods, who can't find his way back to camp.
  3. Mark Davis looks like what you would see in a PSA about the dangers of leaving your scarecrow too close to a radiator.
  4. Jim Tomsula looks like the general manager of a regional bologna distributor.
    He also looks like the guy that brings doughnuts to work to share, then eats 90 percent of them.
  5. Steven Adams looks like a cartoon villain who would tie a woman to a set of train tracks.
  6. Greg Olsen looks like He-Man if he moved to Portland and opened a store that sells artisanal jams.
  7. Eric Spoelstra looks like a vacuum salesman who dumps dirt on the carpet to show how well his product works and becomes extremely anxious when the vacuum can't seem to clean it all up.
  8. Bret Bielema looks like the guy who says "diet starts tomorrow" as he takes a giant bite out of a pulled pork sandwich.
    He also looks like the guy who nicknames himself "Mr. Saturday Night" and gets really upset when his friends don't call him that.
  9. Larry Bird looks like an old Ukrainian lady after she takes her head scarf off.
  10. Bartolo Colón looks like the last Mohican, who ate the second to last Mohican.