Things I Do During Work Meetings

All meetings are irrelevant.
  1. Relive most embarrassing moments from middle school in my head.
    *Walks into school with new Walkman* "Oh, we're supposed to have iPods now?"
  2. Relive most embarrassing moments from high school in my head.
    So it's not socially acceptable to pick my nose in class? Guys, I'm 15 and still figuring shit out...geeeez.
  3. Download a ton of sweet games in the App Store but never play any.
    It's like shopping but never wearing your new clothes...I'm in it just for the hunt.
  4. Delete all the AppStore games because I'm out of memory on my phone.
    Because $0.99 for 50GB of cloud storage is outrageously priced. 😤
  5. Scroll through all previous pictures on phone and in the middle forget that I can't double tap them because it's not Instagram.
    Immediately relive most embarrassing moments from all the previous pictures. Who convinced me to wear that fedora? 😞
  6. Disrupt the meeting by trying out some of my new one-liners.
    Let's go down this rabbit trail that leads to nowhere...😎
  7. Think to myself, "I wonder what workout Ryan Reynolds did to get ready for his role in Amityville Horror?"
    I guess if I stopped eating a Five Guys, Double-Cheeseburger with Cajun Fries twice a week I could get close.....doubt it.
  8. Try to nail down my after-work plans: get in a good workout or go home and eat cookies on my couch?
    There is only one correct answer to that questions. Cookies. Always cookies.