Things I Do During Work Meetings
All meetings are irrelevant.
- •Relive most embarrassing moments from middle school in my head.*Walks into school with new Walkman* "Oh, we're supposed to have iPods now?"
- •Relive most embarrassing moments from high school in my head.So it's not socially acceptable to pick my nose in class? Guys, I'm 15 and still figuring shit out...geeeez.
- •Download a ton of sweet games in the App Store but never play any.It's like shopping but never wearing your new clothes...I'm in it just for the hunt.
- •Delete all the AppStore games because I'm out of memory on my phone.Because $0.99 for 50GB of cloud storage is outrageously priced. 😤
- •Scroll through all previous pictures on phone and in the middle forget that I can't double tap them because it's not Instagram.Immediately relive most embarrassing moments from all the previous pictures. Who convinced me to wear that fedora? 😞
- •Disrupt the meeting by trying out some of my new one-liners.Let's go down this rabbit trail that leads to nowhere...😎
- •Think to myself, "I wonder what workout Ryan Reynolds did to get ready for his role in Amityville Horror?"I guess if I stopped eating a Five Guys, Double-Cheeseburger with Cajun Fries twice a week I could get close.....doubt it.
- •Try to nail down my after-work plans: get in a good workout or go home and eat cookies on my couch?There is only one correct answer to that questions. Cookies. Always cookies.