These are the memories I dislike most from my childhood
  1. At my 10th birthday sleepover party my friend woke me up and earnestly confessed he wanted to marry my dog
  2. When I was 6 a kid's dad died and I wasn't accustomed to death so for a week I pretended to be his dad and my teacher interpreted it as a sign of autism
  3. When I was 12 I tried impressing a girl over AIM by telling her I can talk to ghosts and she then dated my friend because he had a newer less-haunted house
  4. I was scared of the devil but wasn't religious so from ages 6 to 10 I would try different sleeping poses in my bed so I would look more angelic to God
  5. Sometimes I felt this did not work so I would hide under the covers and say out loud to the devil "I have no problem with you, you and I have no problems."
  6. When I was 7 we had "Costume Day" at my summer day camp so I went as a surfer and a kid 2 years younger than me yelled from his age group cabin "Hey surf boy how do you surf??" so I went home early