Stages of Taking an Uber to the Airport

ÜberX, you know what it is
  1. Stage 1: über arrives
    Delight sets in from clicking a screen 5 minutes prior and now driver in a Toyota Camry is at your doorstep without having to actually speak to another human being. Luggage exchange is easy and you chuckle when you say you're going I the airport because it's so obvious.
  2. Stage 2: hit the road, jack.
    And you're off! You exit out of the uber app because the gps burns up your battery.
  3. Stage 3: small talk commence
    Are you from here? Where are you going? What are you doing there? Are you from there? What did you do here?
  4. Stage 4: small talk white lie
    You lie about an extraordinarily insignificant details about your life. It just falls out of your mouth and you can't stuff it back in. Now you have to pretend that you studied English lit and work for the family business and you LOVE the bbq shrimp at a restaurant you've never really heard of.
  5. Stage 5: feign interest in your driver
    "How long have you been driving for uber?" "Do you like it? Wow that's great" "Oh yea, I've heard of that place?" If you're lucky your driver will be an undercover billionaire who drives for uber for the thrill and to feel like one of the "people"
  6. Stage 6: run out of small talk
    My he out in your stomach starts to grow.
  7. Stage 7: the phone call
    Someone calls to check in on your travel plans. You proceed to have an exceedingly personal conversation in close proximity to a complete stranger (see stage 5)
  8. Stage 8: silence
  9. Stage 9: airport
    You and your driver exchange pleasantries and they wish you a safe flight. You forget their name.
  10. Stage 10: email receipt
    Upon opening your email to get your flight confirmation code, you see that the receipt for your ride is in your inbox. 5 stars.