Things People Claim to Have Read

I'm looking at you, everyone on the New Yorker writing staff
  1. Infinite Jest
  2. Steve jobs biography
  3. That essay in the Atlantic about reparations
    Think that guy just won a genius grant
  4. The great gatsby
    Face it, you read the spark notes in 10th grade English
  5. Fight club
  6. Game of thrones series
    Think it's called something like "singing about hot Cheetos and ice cream"
  7. The constitution
  8. The bill of rights
  9. Today's New York Times
    I saw you reading the skimm on the subway
  10. The unbearable lightness of being
  11. Nutrition facts
  12. Terms and conditions
    Please check "I agree to continue"