THOUGHTS I HAD ON MY FIRST DAY OF CROSSFIT

... which was today.
  1. Why do people say this is so hard?
  2. This is seriously so easy aside from the cardio.
  3. Oh, that wasn't even warm-up.
  4. Do you warm up before you warm up? Help me understand...
  5. I didn't even know I could do backwards lunges with weights.
  6. Why doesn't the weight currently on my body count as enough resistance?
    Clearly I've encountered more than enough resistance if I've finally given into my friends' half-crazed invitations to CrossFit.
  7. Why do people like this so much?
    Dear Lord, please let me never post so many Instagrams of my CrossFit gym that the only number that can rival them would be the Instagrams of my newborn baby.
  8. Okay, I literally can't move my legs.
  9. I hope the trainer doesn't see me pulling my legs into leg lifts with my hands.
  10. She saw me and now I have to do everything perfect for the rest of my life until I die.
  11. I can't move anything.
  12. Unless we're stretching. I can do that.
  13. I WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN!
    How does CrossFit do that? Black magic? Sorcery? I must know how it gets the brain to take a completely miserable experience and warp that memory so there's a desire to reproduce it.