Things That Will Probably Happen in My in Person Interview Tmrw

  1. I will be wearing the same outfit as the person doing the hiring and will not handle it gracefully
  2. While speaking, a bit of spit will come of my mouth and everyone will see it and it will land in a spot where it will remain obvious for the rest of the interview
  3. There will not be food in my teeth. I am a diligent flosser.
  4. There may, however, be food on my face. Probably an entire cheese puff
  5. I will have an allergic reaction to something and my Epi Pen will have to come out and I'll leave in an ambulance
  6. I'll say something stupid
  7. I'll make a weird noise after a long pause after saying something totally stupid
  8. I'll forget to wear deodorant
  9. My mom will convince me to take Valium (she is always trying to do this) and I will either fall asleep, drool, or totally ace my interview because of it
  10. I will shart and try to blame my dog , who will not be in the room, for the smell
  11. I will rip my dress when I sit down
  12. I will trip or run into something
  13. I will get my period mid interview and bleed all over everything
  14. I'll have an acid flashback and run out screaming
  15. I will get offered the job on the spot ???
  16. Aced it!