Tips for Parallel Parking That Also Apply to Sex

  1. If you go in too shallow you miss the spot
  2. If you go in too deep you might hit something
  3. You have to have just the right curve to get into the (G) spot!
  4. If you need to park on the other side of the street (if you know what I mean) just take it slow and use extra care so you don't hit or brake anything!
  5. If you take it fast you better have some finesse
  6. And if you take it slow you better get it just right
  7. It's a lot easier if nobody else is watching 👀
  8. But sometimes it's kind of nice when someone else is watching - for those who perform better under pressure 😉
  9. Having another person along for the ride can be fun and helpful, but sometimes it's just annoying
  10. It goes a lot smoother if you are sober - being drunk might cause some accidents
  11. Make sure you have insurance, Ahem, in case there is an accident (where's the condom emoji? Plan B?)
  12. Bonus points if you know how to drive a stick shift
  13. And never ever ever try to force yourself into a spot where you don't fit or aren't welcome!! No. Never.
  14. Happy 'parallel parking' y'all!