my grandma helped my mom raise me & my sisters & she was basically the awesomest human to ever live. i know you all think your grandmas are the best but i'm sorry, you're wrong, i got the best one.
  1. So when I was around 11 we went up to aunt's for Thanksgiving
    We used to have Thanksgiving at our house but then my aunt randomly decided to start having it at hers & after a few lame Thanksgivings with just five of us, we decided to give hers a shot.
  2. My aunt lived in a rural area of Northern California about four hours north of us
  3. On the drive home, my grandma was cranky because she had decidedly NOT enjoyed Thanksgiving at my aunt's, which I can only assume is the reason for what happened next
    My aunt's family doesn't like turkey, so they have tri-tip instead, plus she basically never dusts her house & my grandma did not approve of the cobwebs in all the corners. Also, my grandma & aunt just didn't get along.
  4. We were passing a bunch of dairy farms & there were all these multi-storey-tall mounds covered with giant white tarps & a bunch of tires to keep the tarps on
  5. & my grandma turned to me & said, 'Carrie, do you know what's under those white things?'
  6. I said, 'no.'
    I was a suburban girl
  7. 'COW SHIT!' my grandma shouted
    I don't know why she thought it was necessary to shout this, but she did.
  8. My mom got mad & was like, 'Mom! Don't say that in front of the girls!'
    It's worth noting at this point that my grandma never, ever cussed, at least not in my presence
  9. 'What?' said my grandma (she was still kind of shouting, actually). 'I'm just telling her what it is! It's cow shit!'
    My sisters & I were all avoiding eye-contact with each other now as we tried not to laugh
  10. My mom turned up the music
  11. The next hour was tense silence
  12. I never heard my grandma say 'shit' again in my life