FACT: CAMP WALDEN FOR GIRLS IS THE WORST CAMP EVER

a subsection of the essay about the many, many weird things in The Parent Trap (it's still a classic & I love it though!)
  1. First of all, why are people sending their eleven-year-old children to a camp that's EIGHT WEEKS LONG??
    I know this is a real thing that happens, but why?? When I was eleven, I went away to camp for eight DAYS & it almost emotionally destroyed me.
  2. Not only does this camp last way too long, there is a shocking lack of any kind of supervision.
    The only counselors appear to be the two Marvas, who don’t even stay with the campers in their cabins. Which means these eleven-year-olds are free to gamble, skinny-dip in the middle of the night, vandalize each other’s cabins, & generally engage in inappropriate &, more importantly, unsafe activities constantly.
  3. In the same vein, at the beginning of the camp sequence, we see a boy whose mother apparently never noticed the camp literally has ‘FOR GIRLS’ in its name when she filled out all the paperwork for him to attend.
    He’s next seen calling his mother & leaving her a message I guess she never receives, because we see the same boy leaving the camp eight weeks later with everyone else. Which means this boy was wandering around a girls’ camp for TWO MONTHS & apparently not one adult noticed or did anything about it.
  4. After a prank war that goes on way too long before any adults notice, Annie & Hallie are punished by being locked up together in an even more isolated, less supervised part of the camp.
    This seems like a lawsuit waiting to happen.
  5. The buildings at this camp are in disrepair (the cabin roofs leak, for example) even though they’re housing hundreds of CHILDREN.
    This camp is the WORST & no decent parent should send their child there EVER.
  6. But hey, let’s pretend you’re a parent who is totally cool with sending your young child away for two months to a camp with no safety standards and inadequate adult supervision. Even if you’re okay with all that, why the fuck are you sending your eleven-year-old child to a camp in a foreign country?
    What kind of experience could Camp Walden – a place that can’t even be bothered to hire some college students to stop these eleven-year-olds from stealing the camp’s entire supply of chocolate sauce or piercing their own ears – possibly be advertising that made Elizabeth think, 'Ah yes, I must send my young daughter to a totally different continent for this'??? Send her to France, Liz! Send her to Australia! Send her to freaking Blackpool, even, but don't send her to Camp Walden!