ORDERS BY STARBUCKS REGULARS I STILL REMEMBER NEARLY FOUR YEARS LATER
Written the way the customer ordered it (so not necessarily correctly). It's the weird ones that stay with you!
- •Grande coffee frappuccino, unblendedLike most of the weird drinks, we tried this to see if she was on to something. She wasn't.
- •Venti extra hot latte with just like a quarter-pump of white mocha, not even enough to cover the bottom of the cupThis woman was an asshole who would complain that the drink was 'too sweet' if we actually put white mocha in it. 'My daughter said she couldn't taste the white mocha, but I assured her it's in there!' she told me once, & I just smiled & thought, 'Lady, we haven't put white mocha in your drink in YEARS.' (to be clear, she wasn't ever charged for white mocha, so it's not like she was paying for something & not getting it)
- •Triple venti caramel macchiato with double vanilla and extra, extra caramelThis was the favorite drink of a couple, who usually ordered two or three at a time & would hover by the bar to make sure we coated the entire inside of the cups with caramel, which made these drinks a pain in the ass, in addition to being a fast track to diabetes.
- •Venti latte with one-and-a-half Splenda, ristrettoThis drink was always made correctly if the woman who ordered it liked you & incorrectly if she didn't.
- •Triple venti upside down 180° no foam latteThis drink was annoying as hell, but I didn't even care because it was ordered by a man who was like Harrison Ford's less attractive brother, in both looks and personality, & I had a massive crush on him & turned into a giggly, useless mess whenever he came in. Apparently he used to be really mean, but a few months before I started he got married (his wife was awesome) & became really nice.
- •Grande soy no foam green tea latteThis person sent the drink back if there was so much as a bubble on top, even though making a soy green tea latte without ANY FOAM AT ALL is virtually impossible!
- •Venti coffee with four honeysFuck you, Kyle, stick a honey bear in your truck & leave me alone! (honey is the wooorrssst, especially if you're slammed)
- •Grande coffee with fifteen pumps of vanilla, five raw sugars, & creamThis is BY FAR the grossest drink I've ever tasted.