PROOF MY MOM IS A MOM WHO JUST DIDN'T GIVE AF
I hope I'm as cool, laid-back, & true to myself if I ever have kids.
- •Pretended she was going to throw her toddler in a pool of sharks at an aquarium... but accidentally let go & ACTUALLY dropped her toddler in a pool of sharks.To be fair, I'm pretty sure they were the smaller, more or less harmless sharks (she dropped my oldest sister, so I wasn't there). My mom thought it was hilarious. The employees were far less amused.
- •Stood up on the dinosaur ride (RIP 😢) at Knott's Berry Farm, in front of her young children, to touch the brontosaurus.They stopped the ride & came over the loudspeaker to yell at her to stay seated. She pretended she didn't know what they were talking about. We were mortified.
- •Allowed her very young children to play, sing, & dance on the kitchen counters. Laughed when one tripped & nearly toppled off headfirst.We have video evidence of this. My mom doesn't even move from behind the camera in alarm, just laughs & continues filming. (thanks to @nelle for the reminder)
- •Ignored safety ropes & multiple signs warning about scalding & stuck her arm in a hot spring at Yellowstone, then mocked her children for being freaked out by this.Since the water was only lukewarm, she didn't learn her lesson.
- •Laughed when her daughter fell into the river while rafting in Yosemite.My sister was absolutely fine, despite our dad being convinced she was going to drown while our mom callously laughed beside him.
- •Allowed her four-year-old daughter to kiss an Elvis impersonator ON THE LIPS.I'm fine. I'm sure he was a perfectly nice man. In my mom's words, "It was a simpler time."
- •Told her kids (ages 13, 11, & 8) to get out & check how long the line was to get into the Grand Canyon... then when the line moved forward a lot, gunned it & left them to chase after the car, screaming.She was laughing hysterically when we made it back to the car. We were sobbing. This is still one of her favorite memories. (Objectively, I can see how this would be funny from her perspective, although from mine it definitely wasn't!)