THINGS PEOPLE AT MY NEW JOB HAVE ASKED ME
basically, everyone who works here is a baby
- •'Can you take care of my gym request?'Yes, I'll email you when your card is activated.
- •'Are any of these packages for me?'Did you get an email saying you had a package? Then no.
- •'Do you have a thing I can hang my badge on?'Sure, here's a lanyard.
- •'No, I need something with holes in it...'Okay, here's a card carrier.
- •'No, do you have like a thing to put a hole in my badge?'You mean a hole-punch? No, I don't have one.
- •'Can you have A order me some noise-cancelling headphones?'No, go to Target & buy your own noise-cancelling headphones! But also yes, I'll let her know.
- •'Has my gym card been activated?'Did you get an email from me? Then no.
- •'Can you just have T bring my package to my desk? It's kind of heavy.'Yes, fine, whatever, weakling.
- •'Can you turn up the thermostat? I'm cold.'No, put on a sweater.
- •'So do you have like a thing to put a hole in my badge?'Still no.
- •'Do have any allergy medication?'No, go to CVS like an adult.
- •'Can I get a standing desk?'As someone who worked years at jobs where sitting wasn't an option, this pisses me off. Yeah, I know sitting is bad for you or whatever, but if you want to stand that badly, go get a job in retail or food service & free up a chair for someone who will freaking appreciate it!
- •'So do you have like a thing to put a hole in my badge?'Didn't have it yesterday, don't have it today, won't have it tomorrow. Stop asking me!
- •'Do you have aspirin?'Yes, thankfully, because now I need it!