ADORABLE CAT BEHAVIORS WITH SHOCKINGLY EVIL EXPLANATIONS

There seem to be two kinds of people in the world: those who don't understand cats, and those who think cats are kind of douchebags. Unfortunately for cat lovers, science has kind of come down on the side of that second group. (Full article in link) http://goo.gl/uzhNzJ
  1. Meowing to Imitate a Baby Human
    A recent study has shown that people subconsciously can tell the difference between a pleading or soliciting meow and a run of the mill, casual one just by listening to sound clips taken from different felines in different situations. The subjects said the soliciting sounds came across as more urgent and less pleasant than a normal meow, much like the cries a human baby makes when she's hungry.
  2. Leaving Their Poop Uncovered As An Insult
    Yep, some cats intentionally leave their crap uncovered or in conspicuous locations (such as on a doormat or in your sister's bed) in order to communicate to us that they are the dominant member of the household, and that this territory is theirs.
  3. Rubbing Against You to Declare Ownership
    Cats, like many other animals, are packed full of pheromone-oozing scent glands that are primarily used to communicate with other cats on such hot topics as identity, sexual availability and territorial ownership. The most active and important glands that a cat uses to send these messages are located on the tail, the side of the body and the face. Thus, when a cat rubs up against your legs or slides its face along your hand, it is engaging these glands in order to leave its unique scent on you.
  4. Imitating Snakes to Intimidate You
    Cats, like many other animals, from butterflies to birds, instinctively employ the art of mimicry in order to best defend themselves from attack. Just like David Blaine in Las Vegas, a cornered cat relies on deception and misdirection in order to avoid being destroyed by its audience, and since most animals have a natural fear of venomous snakes, a sudden hiss accompanied by a spray of saliva coming from a head that resembles the shape of a python's will cause them to flee.
  5. Obsessively Getting Rid of the Stench of Humans
    Cats have glands that are stimulated when they tug on their fur, that ooze their own scent. Licking the fur kicks those glands into high gear, making him smell more like himself and ridding him of the terrible, terrible stink of you. It'd be like if after every time you hugged your Mom, she immediately ran down the hall and took a shower.
  6. Bringing Home Dead Animals to Show You Suck at Hunting
    The dead bird, seemingly gift wrapped in ruffled feathers and crimson ribbon, isn't actually an offering to the owner at all, but more like a training exercise. See, cats teach their kittens and other dependent family members how to hunt and catch prey in gradual steps. When Fluffy dropped the corpse on your shoe, that was lesson number one in her teaching curriculum.