After Alice Jane Axness finished the first few episodes, she sat in silence, alone in her room, crying. Finally, a TV show truly captured life as an abuse survivor:
  1. Abusers think they love you.
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    "Throughout the whole first season, Kilgrave makes multiple comments about how he never did anything to Jessica. He was literally controlling her mind, and yet he never physically made her do anything, so he decides it was all on her own volition. ... On the show, Kilgrave's reasoning seems genuine and also batshit insane, which is pretty much how it goes in real life as well. 'Mark' believes that I am the great love of his life and that no one will ever love me like he loved me."
  2. Abusers are shockingly obsessive.
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    "Kilgrave's obsession with Jessica stems from the fact that she's powerful and won't take his shit. There is nothing she can do to make him see the truth. Telling him she hates him only makes him want her more. When she tries to kill him, he thinks it's interesting. ... 'Mark' chose me for reasons I'll get to later, but he began stalking me because I did something no one else had ever done to him -- I told him to fuck all the way off."
  3. It can be hard to prove abuse.
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    "Jessica spends the whole season trying to prove that Kilgrave has this power so she can get an innocent girl (who Kilgrave kidnapped, raped, and forced to do some deeply fucked-up shit) out of prison. ... I've spoken to (fought with?) many people who think 'Mark' is innocent because he's just so gosh-darn sweet. He identifies as a feminist (no, really). He posts Jezebel articles as his Facebook status. There are many people who think he is a swell guy."
  4. Abusers' control is...complicated.
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    "If someone's in your head, nothing else really matters. I was a lonely 16-year-old desperate for an adult to give a shit about me, and 'Mark' knew that. ... Another thing the show gets spot-fucking-on is the lingering fear. It doesn't matter if you have superpowers; there is an extreme, all-encompassing fear when you've been abused by someone."
  5. Many victims still think it's somehow their fault.
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    "Most abused women I know deal with a fair amount of self-hate. The framing of sexual abuse in the media is usually victim-blaming and hideous. It's hard to hear 'Why didn't you leave him sooner? Why did you love him in the first place? How else can I blame you for an abusive man's actions?' and not start internalizing that."