Awful Kinds Of People There Are Way Too Many Of

Unfortunately, there are certain types of people you can never seem to escape from, and the lessons they offer are generally in patience or the silent planning of murder. I won't tell you to avoid these people, because you can't. I will say prepare. Prepare for them, for they are legion. (link for full column)
  1. The Indignant Liar
    Yes, the Indignant Liar is the liar who backs his lies up with attitude designed to make you feel like shit for calling out the lie. You're the fuckstick here, not him. You're the asshole who dares cast such aspersions, not him. And if he's really good, he'll actually make you second-guess yourself. And if he's really bad, he'll enrage you because you will have caught him red-handed and still -- still! -- he'll indignantly deny the entire debacle.
  2. The Skilled Ignoramus
    The Skilled Ignoramus knows one thing and only one thing. That's why you need them or may find yourself dealing with them. You will soon learn that they have traded all the excess real estate in their brain for knowledge of whatever their one area of expertise is. This is dangerous because, first, they have nothing to share of any interest beyond their one area of expertise, and you can only listen to a roofer talk about roofing for so long. Second, they are dipshits in every other area of life.
  3. The Expert Lifer
    The Expert Lifer is the flip-side of the Skilled Ignoramus. The Expert Lifer thinks they do everything well and in fact probably do nothing well. However, whatever it is you're doing, they have already done and will let you know either how you're doing it wrong or how they would do it better.
  4. The Terminal Sad Sack
    I need to establish from the get-go that I'm not talking about depression here. I understand depression and the very dark places such a condition can take people. I'm not going to make fun of that. I'm going to make fun of something much more insidious, because it's not an uncontrollable condition that you don't want to endure. Not a true depression at all but some kind of bummer zone that the entitled muck about in when they can't have their way, like a spoiled child with bullshit tantrums.