Basic Things That Every Disaster Movie Gets Wrong

I'm not talking about "Uh, lasers wouldn't make a sound in space"-style nerdery -- in most cases, the actual disasters would look even more awesome than what the movies are showing us (provided you're not one of the casualties). For instance, bet you don't even realize that ... (click for full) http://goo.gl/0t4fF4
  1. The Statue Of Liberty Would Be Blown To Shit In A Second
    While so many films imitated the visual parable of finding America's hope jutting out of the monkey-beach like a million-year-old tombstone, none of them stopped to wonder if this iconic twist was in any way a load of bold-faced hogwash. Spoiler: It absolutely is. Because, as Discovery's Life After People series figured out, there's no goddamn way the Statue Of Liberty would withstand so much as 300 years before crumbling into the ocean.
  2. Bridges Would Completely Fall Apart (Instead Of Just Losing A Chunk)
    This really shouldn't be surprising, but it turns out those big things called "suspension cables" are there not to look nice but rather to keep the bridge suspended. So when one such cable snaps on the Golden Gate Bridge, the road would instantly start falling apart -- especially when said road is covered in 60-ton tanks. Instead, it doesn't even shake at Godzilla's might, nor does it completely fall apart when severed at the middle.
  3. Doomsday Explosions Are Way Faster (And More Horrific) In Real Life
    For starters: Your lungs, ears, and bowels would explode at the speed of sound by the pressure change alone. If you can run the speed of sound, then good on you -- otherwise all the Wolverine blankets in the world couldn't stop your organs from popping like grotesque water balloons. In the case of Nagasaki, the real-life detonation traveled 9,000 mph and leveled everything in a two-mile radius.
  4. Earthquakes Don't Open Up An Abyss In The Ground
    So while films like San Andreas do consult geologists during production, whether they actually listen to them is another story. And before any of you jerk-ass earthquake survivors pipe up in the comments about witnessing actual cracks in the ground: What you're seeing is shallow damage caused by either landslides or liquefaction due to sand and water being pushed up from out of the ground ... which is honestly way more horrifying than anything we've seen in movies.
  5. Tornadoes Pull Stuff Inward; They Don't Throw Stuff Outward
    Tornadoes don't blow things away from their funnels. You might have noticed that description of a tornado as a giant "funnel" a few times. It's a word often used because this particular weather pattern fucking funnels shit inward. Take a look at this actual image of an actual F5:
  6. Tsunamis And Monsters Making Landfall In Manhattan Is Fucking Absurd
    Because thanks to this thing called Long Island, Manhattan harbor isn't exposed to the open ocean. Which is, you know, why it's called a harbor -- a place specifically designed to protect boats.