CLASSIC MOVIES THAT HAVE BECOME HORRIFYING WITH AGE
And so it is that we turn a kinder, wiser eye to pop culture of the past and go, "Holy shit, we really thought that was okay?" (click for full article) http://goo.gl/1UAxaF
- •American Pie Thinks It's Cool To Secretly Record SexThe nerdy Jim manages to attract the attention of exchange student Nadia. Naturally, his buddies convince him to set up a webcam so they can watch him get laid, because in 1999 only weirdos watched Internet porn, while real men asserted their heterosexuality by watching their closest friends get boners. Jim agrees, because that is the law of shenanigans.
- •Heathers Is Ridiculously Pre-ColumbineHeathers was a dark high school comedy about Winona Ryder's Veronica befriending cool outsider Christian Slater's J.D., only to realize that he is in fact a homicidal lunatic. Slater plays a new student who wears a trench coat and sits in the corner. Two jocks in letter jackets immediately decide to bully him as part of the ongoing Coat Wars, and Slater responds by pulling out a goddamn gun and firing blanks in their faces.
- •The Bad News Bears Has Cute Kids Using Racial SlursOne of the children, Tanner, complains that his team sucks because "All we got on this team is a bunch of Jews, spics, niggers, pansies, and a booger-eating moron." Later, when Amanda joins the team, because every sports movie is legally required to have a The Girl character, Tanner complains "Jews, spics, niggers and now a girl?"
- •Pretty Baby Really Wanted To Show Us A Naked, Underage Brooke ShieldsIt gets even worse when Violet escapes to live with the photographer, because the movie portrays it as her seducing him, as opposed to, you know, a grown man abusing a little girl. But don't worry -- he knows she's still a kid, so he buys her a toy doll and she calls him "papa." In between sleeping with him and otherwise acting as his wife. Jesus, the only thing that keeps this from being a flat-out horror movie is Shields' laughably bad Southern accent.
- •Sixteen Candles Is An '80s Movie With A '40s Racial StereotypeMolly Ringwald's Sam basically gets molested by her grandparents. Grandpa tries to give her a hug that makes Ted Cruz's advances look wanted, then says "I better go get my magnifying glass" when grandma comments that Sam's "got her boobies." Oh yeah, and then grandma gives them a good squeeze.