Let us now murder the magic by showing you how damn dumb every big-screen badass looks before the effects kick in. (click for full) http://goo.gl/R3iPpo
  1. Actors Doing "Magic" Look Like Total Dorks
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    The eight movies collectively cost over a billion dollars to make, but if you went behind the scenes it looked like your local community theater choreographing an interpretative dance about eating an avocado covered in hot sauce for dinner (because magic doesn't exist and everything alive is slowly putrefying).
  2. CGI Animals Are Actually Crazy People
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    Please imagine DiCaprio trying to look all intense while rolling around with that guy in the forest (the production has wisely not allowed any photos of that moment to be released). He deserved that Golden Globe just for not cracking up on camera.
  3. Motion Capture Leads To Brain-Melting Insanity
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    Dafoe and other actors playing Martians had to walk around the set on stilts. If nothing else, it's really inspiring to see an actor go the extra mile for a movie that absolutely no one gives a shit about.
  4. The Cost Of Playing A Superhero Is Your Dignity
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    Yeah, remember when we implied only magical superheroes look silly on set? We lied. It's all of them. Now, we've given Thor enough shit in this article already, so let's move on to someone els- JUST KIDDING, here's a behind-the-scenes shot of Goldilocks battling The Incredible Guy Who Wanted To Cosplay As A Ninja Turtle But Only Had Access To Green Pillows And Rave Pants.
  5. Movie Monsters Are Way Less Scary On Set
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    Remember the bizarre, primordial terror of Pyramid Head from Silent Hill? He's somewhat less intimidating when he has to have his bare ass exposed and painted because his boss felt that having a gigantic, faceless and remorseless killer running around in a pair of CK tighty-whities would have ruined the immersion. Which, yes, means it was someone's job to paint Pyramid Head's butt on set every day.
  6. Green-Screen Acting Just Makes Everyone Miserable
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    If you paid attention to the development of the first Hobbit movie (or to Cracked), you may recall that Ian McKellen, who plays Gandalf, broke down and cried during filming because of how much time he had to spend all alone in front of green screens. And if that sounds like an actor being melodramatic, look at this septuagenarian six-time Laurence Olivier Award-winner being forced to throw artisan pine cones from fake overgrown shrubbery and try not to feel sorry for the poor man.