There are all sorts of confusing or nonsensical processes our own bodies perform that we just shrugged off and accepted way back in childhood. Fortunately, good ol' science is finally here to explain things like ... (click for full article)
  1. Why You Get Squiggly Shit in Your Vision
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    Your eyes are mostly made up of a jelly called vitreous fluid, and this gel undergoes many changes as you age. As it slowly shrinks, it loses its smoothness and starts to look stringy. The vitreous can also become more liquid, and this allows for tiny fibers in your eye to come together and form (relatively) large clumps. These get big enough to become visible and freak us out, but they eventually sink down and settle at the bottom of your eyes where you can't see them.
  2. Why Cold Foods Cause "Brain Freeze"
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    The brain wants to keep a constant temperature, so when you're stuffing your head with ice cream, your palate gets chilled and your brain freaks out, thinking you're trapped somewhere near the peak of Mount Everest ("Holy shit, it's so cold here that the inside of his mouth is freezing!"). It opens up arteries to pump more blood to the area to warm it up, but instead of making you super smart, the increased blood pressure just causes an "ice cream headache."
  3. Why Orange Juice (and Other Things) Taste Weird After You Brush Your Teeth
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    The weird horriblization that occurs with orange juice and lots of other foods after brushing is due to a chemical called sodium lauryl sulfate. The white coats making your hygiene products know just how much you like it when your cleaning products foam up, so they have to add totally useless enfoameners (may not be the actual name). The aforementioned SLS is one such animal, and gives you that great frothy mouth-feel you need to make it seem like your toothpaste is doing something.
  4. Why Men Get "Blue Balls"
    When the man is fully aroused and ready to unleash a payload of DNA, the arteries open, allowing blood to flow into the genitals, but then restricting the blood flow going away -- one result of this is what scientists call a "boner." When an orgasm occurs, the arteries almost immediately open, allowing the blood to leave because the deed is done. But when sexual activity stops all of a sudden, the body gets all confused and can't figure out how you didn't seal the deal.
  5. Why Sunburns Hurt (and Turn You Red)
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    What you're seeing is a radiation burn. Blast yourself with radiation from a leaking nuclear reactor or certain medical procedures and your skin will look the same angry red. In this case, it's UV radiation, but it's still directly damaging your DNA and your body still responds with inflammation, increasing blood flow to the site and bringing with it all of your body's tiny repair crews. The angry red color is your body's attempt to heal it before tumors start sprouting.
  6. Why Asparagus Makes Your Pee Smell Weird
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    The odor is the result of an organosulfur (an organic compound containing sulfur) called asparagusic acid. And yes, that's the real name, we're not joking -- we're told that at least one person in the world calls it that. You might be asking yourself why asparagus doesn't smell like that, then, and the answer is that asparagusic acid itself isn't so potent -- the smell mainly comes from the compounds it breaks down into, which can manifest themselves in urine in as little as 15 minutes.