Insane (But Very Persuasive) Game Of Thrones Fan Theories
SPOILERS AHEAD! Even if the books/show don't follow the theories, in lots of cases, it'd be better if they did. In the meantime, have fun watching the show and imagining that ... (Click for full) http://goo.gl/VVd1w5
- •Westeros Is Tolkien's Middle-Earth In The Distant FutureCrazy as it sounds, the geographic evidence is there. The Misty Mountains line up with the Narrow Sea, from its sharp curve in the north to the perpendicular T at its south. What are the Misty Mountains doing underwater? Well, according to Tolkien's official gospel of Middle-Earth, The Silmarillion, the Misty Mountains were subsiding at a crazy rate, either due to magic or too many parties of adventurers singing Led Zeppelin songs all over them.
- •Missandei Is A Faceless Man Engaged In A Worldwide ConspiracyFor starters, she speaks 19 languages on the show, like some kind of fucking protocol droid. In the books, she's only 10 years old when we first meet her, yet she claims to have memories of her two brothers before they became Unsullied, which doesn't add up, because Unsullied training takes longer than she's supposedly been alive. She also has legitimate superpowers, in one case mentioning that she could hear slaves "scratching" on the city walls ... from a half-mile away.
- •Jorah Mormont Is Going To Save The World (But Lose Everything In The Process)The general fan consensus regarding who will turn out to fulfill this prophecy is that there is no general fan consensus, with theories ranging from Jon to Daenerys to one of the Greyjoy uncles who have yet to appear on the show. But hold on a second ... you know who "captured a lion" recently? Jorah Mormont, Daenerys's sworn protector and perpetual Facebook stalker.
- •Jon Snow Is Going To Ride A Giant Goddamned Ice DragonLast time around, we detailed the (quite likely accurate) fan theory that a certain brooding, snow-caked bastard boy is much more than he seems -- that Jon Snow is in fact of royal blood, the secret son of Prince Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark. Well, according to another fan theory, not only is Jon Snow royalty, but he's also going to rain royal frozen justice upon Westeros from his perch atop a ginormous ice dragon.
- •Ned Stark Is AliveAccording to a theory by modern-day scholar and gift to humanity "cuntfungus_inc," they didn't have to. See, just because Ned's body didn't survive, that doesn't mean Ned didn't. Any fan of this series is familiar with the concept of warging -- entering the mind of another person or animal, as Ned's broke-legged son Bran can do. If this ability runs in the family, then there's a good possibility that Ned possessed it as well.
- •A Song Of Ice And Fire Is A Retelling Of The Book Of Revelation (And The White Walkers Are The Good Guys)The idea is that A Song Of Ice And Fire is a novelization of Revelation 12-19, aka the Biblical Apocalypse. It's like Martin read all those vague allusions to horsemen and dragons and decided to write up a straight literary adaptation. For instance, the Bible mentions a dragon with seven heads and seven crowns, which sounds a lot like the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros under Targaryen rule.