Every year your Christmas is as bland as the gray sludge they squirt out of a machine before remolding and later selling to you as meatloaf. Well don't have a boring Christmas any longer. Here are some traditions from around the world guaranteed to turn your Christmas into a raucous orgy of excitement. (and orgies) Tis the season to get freaky...
  1. Up Helly Aa -The Drunken, Flaming Viking Parade
    Cc80c897 e57f 41a7 a862 3c9fe940038d
    The most metal holiday possible, this Scottish celebration has everyone dress as a Viking and march the streets carrying gasoline soaked torches and belting out anthems in praise of the Norse Gods: http://goo.gl/NTXgSP
  2. Mari Lwyd - Christmas With Large Skulls On Your Head
    Bad26a45 d4f9 4172 97ab 97e5f28778cf
    It's like Halloween meets Christmas, except instead of trick or treating for candy, you get booze and, instead of singing carols, you practice negotiation while wearing a giant skull on your head. What could go wrong: http://goo.gl/XBYSyX
  3. Krampusnacht - A Day Celebrating The Sexually Deviant Christmas Nightmare Creature, Krampus
    A78af88b 4c4c 4a0f a2c0 08737143e690
    Krampus is a horned monster that scares children into behaving well with the threats of being stuffed in a wicker basket and dragged off to hell. Europeans honor him by marauding the streets at night and smacking some ass (because, Europe we guess): http://goo.gl/7jfMTy
  4. The Caganer - The Guy Who Pooped When Jesus Was Born
    116aa458 ee47 43f2 abb3 5645c2b204fb
    This nativity scene tradition honors the one guy who was pooping when Christ came into the world, teaching us that, no matter what we do, we'll always be second fiddle to some guy taking a crap: http://goo.gl/YWGRDF
  5. Papa Noel - Brazil's Sexy Santa Clause
    2808c890 91d4 4b45 b335 075a897f37df
    Forget the fat guy who stuffs his face with cookies. Brazil's Santa surfs and spends his summers at a cool holiday pad in Greenland toning his abs. Mommy kissing Santa Clause just became a much sexier proposition: http://goo.gl/cB5UME