Social media is an entirely new realm for interaction, and unlike royal balls and birthday parties, there aren't set standards yet. So in that spirit, I think we should all agree that ... (click for full column)
  1. It's Rude To Talk About How Great Your Relationship Is
    Facebook posting exists only so you can communicate with others, and you're posting specifically so you can be sure that I see it. In the case of romantic adventures, the poster is actually stopping their celebration of what they have so they can sit down in front of the cold glow of their laptop and tippy-tappy out some gloat about it. Unless they're with your partner while they type those posts. In which case, please have better dates, because that's really sad.
  2. It's Not Rude To Block People
    We should all feel fine about blocking people. Not good, not bad, just fine. Just as mundanely necessary as flushing a toilet and then lighting a candle because eating Chipotle for three meals in a row has a cost, my friend.
  3. It's Rude To Post Incorrect Information
    The Internet came along and made it so that information went "viral" (that is, we all decided to share it) rather than got "popular" (that is, the companies that control marketing decided to make it inescapable). There's more power in our hands now. And with great power comes great responsibility. If we don't invent some social rules about sharing unreliable information, we're going to make the future a shitty place full of stupid people. Do you really want that to be your legacy?
  4. It's Rude To Post A Picture Of Someone Without Asking Them First
    Look, I enjoy pranks and shaming as much as the next jovial knave, but on the internet the stakes are just too high. You can't be sure that just because you're a free-spirited, anything-goes-on-Facebook, forward-thinking millennial, that your friend Todd will be too. You don't know Todd's life. He may be Facebook friends with his mother. He may be applying to a government job. Or maybe he has super religious parents and that photo of him kissing his boyfriend on the cheek leaves him homeless.
  5. It's Rude To Argue With Teenagers And College Students (If You're A Grown-Up)
    Teenagers are delicate. All of them. What looks like arrogance is actually origami imitation of that. So if a dumb teen's dumb teen opinions are getting your blood all angried up, then just block them. Remember? We can do that now!
  6. It's Rude To Credit The Wrong Person For The Things We Share
    If we share the ripped-off version of cool stuff, then the people who make the cool stuff don't have incentive to make more cool stuff for us to enjoy. Which means we have less cool stuff. I like cool stuff, so as a favor to me, if you're going to share something, please take the extra 15 seconds to make sure it's the right one to share. Make sure the people putting themselves out there and making fun stuff for you get to reap some benefits for their hard work.