We've all been bamboozled by the colorful misdirection of fancy cars and beautiful, preposterously named women. James Bond isn't the ideal male fantasy -- he's a creepy psychopath who only adheres to whatever moral code suits him best at the moment.
  1. He ditches bodies wherever.
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    Often in the middle of crowded public places! And in 'Thunderball' he tells a little joke about it because he's that detached from valuing human life: http://goo.gl/iiYAEj
  2. He's obsessed with eggs.
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    Specifically scrambled ones. He spends most of Ian Fleming's 'Octopussy And The Living Daylights' reminiscing about his secretary's eggs recipe, with all the fixation of a space alien: http://goo.gl/yIGIXz
  3. He's not even a good spy.
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    He's the least secretive secret agent ever, a drunk who cares more about the woman he's boning than the Queen, and cost the Western world more than he could possibly save them. And it's all by design: http://goo.gl/LzLWOx
  4. He can't figure out diplomacy.
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    Which is his entire job! Actual spies tend to be too valuable to risk their lives in the field, and instead stick around the embassy gathering intelligence under the guise of being a civil servant: http://goo.gl/NhQqJo
  5. He's probably not actually "James Bond".
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    There has been a theory among fans that there is no one single James Bond, but that "James Bond" is a codename passed on from one agent to the next as each retires (just as the titles of M and Q pinball from agent to agent). And that would mean the man you see as Bond gave up his entire actual human identity with cold, professional precision: http://goo.gl/HfBBSp