REAL ACTS OF REVENGE TOO CREATIVE FOR WORDS
Revenge is a dish best served cold. For most of us, that saying simply means that you shouldn't punch a dude the second he mocks your Animorphs T-shirt. For others, it means “inspire yourself to reach impossible creative heights”: http://goo.gl/RgHxge
- •Facebook ad gaslighting.After Roderick Russell pranked his roommate Brian Swichkow, Swichkow decided on the perfect comeuppance: to slowly drive Russell out of his mind with a bombardment of incredibly specific Facebook ads. You see Russell is a professional sword swallower by trade, but he was ironically unable to swallow pills without gagging. Swichkow, a marketing expert, used Facebook's marketing algorithms to set himself up as an advertiser and launch ads targeted to an "audience" of just one person...
- •Paying fines in pennies.In July 2009, Tallahassee college student Jordan Renken emerged from a bar to discover that his car had been towed, resulting in a 15-mile walk home. He needed to pay $88 to release his impounded car, so Renken decided to exact his revenge on the towing company by delivering the fine ... in the form of 8,800 pennies. And in 2012, Thomas Daigle of Milford, Massachusetts used more than 62,000 pennies (weighing 427 pounds) to make the final payment on his mortgage.
- •Blog-humiliating your eBay scammer.In 2005, Thomas Sawyer purchased a laptop on eBay from seller Amir Tofangsazan. The laptop took two months to arrive and, when it did, Sawyer discovered that it did not work. Tofangsazan brushed off all requests for a refund. After some fancy technological footwork, Sawyer recovered enough of the hard drive to find creepy voyeuristic photos of women's legs, plus several kinds of porn and tons of personal info. So Sawyer used the data to set up a mock blog written from Tofangsazan's perspective.
- •Phone sex-ing telemarketers (financially, anyway).In 2011, Lee Beaumont of Leeds got so sick of cold callers that he paid 10 pounds to make his home phone number a premium 0871 line, which is the British equivalent of a 1-900 number. So, after that, whenever a bank, insurance agency, solar cell conglomerate, or funeral plan company cold-called him, they were unwittingly spending the equivalent per minute of someone on a phone sex line.
- •Ruining the campaign of the congressman who killed your dog.Future 12-term Texas congressman Charlie Wilson grew up with an asshole neighbor who Charles Hazard, who hated Wilson's dog and made the rational and totally sane decision to poison it. Since Hazard was a city official who was up for re-election that year, Wilson decided to offer the people in his neighborhood a free ride to the voting booth on election day, telling each passenger "I don't want to influence your vote, but I would like you to know that Charles Hazard poisoned my dog."