REASONS THE JEDI ARE SECRETLY DUMB JERKS
We said it once (REASONS THE DARK SIDE ISN'T AS BAD AS YOU THINK) and we'll say it again: Star Wars wants us to root for the wrong guys every time.
- •The mind trick is super creepy.When you think about it, the "good guy" Jedi ability to control minds really seems to work only on the exact minds it shouldn't. When you think about it more, you realize those incompetent stormtroopers that let Obi-Wan drive through the droid checkpoint were almost certainly killed later by their supervisor: http://goo.gl/SoVq1I
- •They used the clone army.And that army is an existential nightmare. In Episode II, upon observing the bone-chilling conditioning of an entirely new race of artificial people, the Jedi council is so tickled that they completely forgo investigating this mysterious slave army and simply start tossing them into battle. Are they any better than the Empire? And they definitely aren't thinking about the genetic ramifications: http://goo.gl/XrPbY1
- •They killed all the Ewoks.Luke led the Rebellion's successful destruction of Death Star #2 in Movie #6. And he follows that up by throwing a party, right after billions of tons of Imperial metal went supernova just beyond Endor's atmosphere. A Jedi with any decency would've been leading the evacuation of that tiny Ewok-filled moon, because scientists say the falling Death Star wreckage would've killed all life on Endor: http://goo.gl/NtIIAp
- •They broke their own school system.Why are the Jedi teaching people as toddlers? It clearly doesn’t work. The prequels show us hordes of grown-up younglings getting wiped out by old men. But the one time the Jedi enrolled somebody who’s “too old to begin the training”, Luke becomes skilled enough to beat two Sith Lords at once after a couple Yoda-meals and X-Wing deadlifts: https://goo.gl/G0EWyh
- •Luke puts Leia in the bikini.Or at least lets her end up that way, but his negligence is so inexplicable it kinda feels like Luke wanted it to happen. His escape plan at the beginning of 'Return of the Jedi' consists of getting each and every one of his friends captured by Jabba, one by one, even though Lando's "stand around in a terrible disguise until the right moment" plan would've worked better with zero hassle: http://goo.gl/znrOYT