All of life can be boiled down to numbers. Your life. Your choices. Pancakes. What we're saying is, why waste time calculating the angles of triangles when you can be calculating the square root of a hot tush?
  1. The Perfect Butt
    Thanks to a "Sir Mix-A-Lotian" dedication to the rear end, mathematicians have uncovered the formula for determining the perfect butt. The trick isn't the math so much as it's collecting data without being a total creep:
  2. Perfect Pancakes
    Mathematicians have determined how to make the perfect pancake down to the distance your body is from the pan when you flip it. Lord knows how long it took to figure this out, but to never have to suffer through a runny pancake center again, it was worth it:
  3. The Perfect Pop Song
    Do you want to be a Rock Star? Get the band out of the garage and go practice some algebra in the library:
  4. Perfectly Sort Coins (Without Looking)
    Use this trick to impress at parties or convince the feeble minded that you are imbued with the power of the gods:
  5. Perfect Battleship Strategy
    Never lose at Battleship again. (Except of course if your opponent is cheating, which is always. So hypothetically never lose at Battleship again.):