THE MOST TERRIFYING SEX ILLUSTRATIONS ON WIKIPEDIA

We won't deny that there's educational value in knowing the exact mechanics of the ol' gamete rodeo. But we will say that it's unclear where pedagogy ends and "the artist was obviously wanking the whole time" begins. (click for full) http://goo.gl/YKueGd
  1. The Most Placid Fisting Ever
    Look at that lady's face. I'm sorry, nobody in the history of fisting -- whether fistee or fister -- has ever made that damn face. That's a beatific expression reserved for occasions like "a new delivery of wainscoting" or "a perfectly seasoned shepherd's pie" or "the third consecutive 67-degree day this week" -- not "becoming your own human hand puppet."
  2. Liza Minnelli, Turning into a Werewolf?
    Good gravy, that is some eyes of Dr. T.J. Eckleburg shit right there. Anyhow, there was no way we could run this picture unedited, but I also needed to convey how absolutely ghastly her overall facial expression is. The closest approximation I could find was Jaws' mouth flipped upside down. MS Paint, to the rescue.
  3. Whatever the Heck This Is
    This picture is supposed to represent "point-of-view pornography," not "the miniature angel and devil that sit on characters' shoulders in Looney Tunes cartoons, blowing each other."
  4. Crestfallen Facials
    Incidentally, the Wikipedia page for "Facial" has more than one illustration of women totally not enjoying said pornographic hallmark. Again, I had to give this second woman a Luchadora mask so some of you don't get fired from your jobs. You're welcome!
  5. Remember, All of These Pictures Are in the Public Domain
    From the Wikipedia page for "snowballing." We're not sure what's happening here, but based on the look on their faces, we're pretty sure it must involve a whole lot of sedatives.
  6. Oh, This is Just Gross
    Gokkun is an onomatopoeic Japanese term for when a woman drinks a Big Gulp's worth of semen from a container. And holy hell, you do not need a picture demonstrating this. Anyone's who experienced the wonder technology that is a cup can put two and two together here. Seriously, there's zip that's educational about this picture. People go on Wikipedia to visualize stuff like fennec foxes and goblin sharks, not "how to drink a crowd-sourced smoothie."