THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO BUY ONLINE (AND TOTALLY CAN)
The Internet is a big place, and policing it to make sure people aren't skirting the law in some way with 100 percent effectiveness isn't possible. But Adam Tod Brown wishes somebody would at least TRY: http://goo.gl/1cUjKP
- •Switchblades"You're allowed to buy out-the-front switchblades on the Internet. Since when has this been allowed? Well, in the United States, the answer is "since sometime around 2009." That's when the Switchblade Act was amended to allow "spring assisted" knife sales online. What are those? Switchblades, basically. (That doesn't mean they're completely legal everywhere. Several states still ban them completely.)"
- •Brass Knuckles"Turns out they're barely regulated at the federal level, but are indeed outlawed in some states. Several sellers skirt the law by labeling them as novelty paper weights or belt buckles. State laws apparently mean nothing online, though, because a quick search turned up a site called brassknucklescompany.com, where you can choose from an array of different skull-fracturing options. There's no 'belt buckle' shit here. They say so right on the site."
- •Wives"I know that this one probably isn't surprising anyone. Nevertheless, I feel it's my civic duty to at least remind people that mail-order brides are in fact real, and aren't just from jokes about your lonely uncle who up and married an Asian woman out of the blue one day."
- •Research Chemicals"For years now, the government has been banning the chemicals used to make synthetic drugs and other illicit substances. It's an effort that's been rendered almost completely ineffective for one simple reason: Whenever The Man makes a new chemical illegal, it's just replaced with something else that produces the same effect in users. When one of the main chemical compounds used to make spice, JWH-073, was banned, it was simply replaced with other online-sold variants, like JWH-200 or CP 47,497."
- •All Sorts Of Drug Paraphernalia (through Amazon Prime!)"Amazon offers a gold vacuum-cleaner-shaped sniffing tube, for those who like to deliver the news of their raging coke habit with a side of humor. It's ostensibly not for use with illegal substances, but the name of the thing is 'Coke Hoover,' so make what you want of their warning. Also for sale: an entire cocaine-huffing kit, a glass vial for the office, and a pink gas mask bong."