I'm talking about differences that make no sense. Differences that we really should've standardized by now. Differences in ...(click for full) goo.gl/c5y2tw
  1. Driving
    577014 v1
    Not only do people in other countries drive on the wrong side of the road (how fucking hard would it be to standardize that, Earth?) but they also navigate roads totally differently. What's the fastest way to the peak of a volcano? If you said "in a minivan, far more quickly than seems safe," then you must be from Trinidad or anywhere in the Eastern Caribbean.
  2. What Tastes Good Mixed With Beer
    577024 v1
    It's like every culture can tolerate mixing beer with one fruit, but you better choose that fruit carefully, because you only get one. I imagine the kind of subhuman goblins who enjoy blueberry beer are equally disgusted by both red beer and shandy. Or maybe this theory is bullshit, because I think shandy is pretty good, and yeah, sure, I'll try that blueberry beer too. Why not.
  3. Sleeping
    577025 v1
    One example is the "siesta," which is a Spanish and Mexican thing where you take a nap in the middle of the day. You might call that lazy if you've never worked a manual labor job in a climate where the thermometer hits 105 degrees Fahrenheit from 1-3 p.m. every goddamn day.
  4. Making Friends
    577026 v1
    When I first arrived in Seattle, I learned about the "Seattle Freeze," which is when you enthusiastically tell someone you want to hang out and then never call them. "I'll never do something like that," I said, and then Seattle-Froze like four people in a month. I couldn't help it! Weird friendship behaviors are contagious, and I was infected. Also, I had a clique at that point, and these weirdos wouldn't really have fit in.