Ways Modern Medical Training Is F*cking Horrifying
Medical students should know that they're in over their heads pretty quick, after they arrive in class and get an eyeful of the nightmarish training aids that are supposed to be less disturbing than working on actual humans. (click for full) goo.gl/SrnlAS
- •Prostate Exam And Catheter Insertion SimulatorsNowadays, budding proctologists can interact with an actual robotic ass and receive real-time feedback pertaining to their technique. His name is "Patrick," by the way. If you're less than gentle with your invasive probings, built-in pressure sensors will cause him to respond with a surprised "Ow!"
- •Synthetic CadaversIf you think the loopy intestines and other assorted viscera are what makes these things disturbing, think again. Sure, it's gross, but once you realize it's all plastics and whatever, it's not that bad. To truly maximize the horrendousness, you need to see one halfway under construction. And try not to imagine that it's the future, and that the poor guy on the table just found out what a colossal waste of money it was to cryogenically freeze his brain.
- •Synthetic CaninesThey bleed realistically and enthusiastically. Overly sanguinary ovary removal and castration aren't the only things a polymer-based pooch is good for, either, as they're also great for preparing for all the obligatory butt stuff in the curriculum.
- •The Elderly Nursing Home ManikinThat brassy old coot up there is "GERi" (get it?), and she's a meticulously designed "Manikin" who replicates all the dilapidated physical aspects you'll come across in the nursing home experience. From the ulcerated, wrinkly skin to the cancerous moles dwelling beneath her Rue McClanahan wig, she may not be so spry anymore, but she can let you know she's down to party with her pair of sassily dilating pupils.
- •Dental Practice Heads... they're clearly designed solely with practicality and function in mind, with little to no attention to avoiding the Uncanny-Valley-esque horror which inadvertently ensues. You can even procure a mobile suitcase version to take on the road, and give the TSA employees at the local airport a memorable experience they'll speak of in hushed whispers around campfires.
- •Delivery Room SimulatorsWhy they feel the need to give these rubbery, oozing replicants names is beyond me, but meet Victoria. She has the appropriately weary look of someone who enjoys Tequila with her spinal taps, and a collection of startlingly realistic ladybits. All her parts work perfectly in tandem to provide obstetricians-in-training the perfect opportunity to see what can happen nine months after the Victoria's Secret and J. Crew mall employees both forget to lock up the mannequins for the night.