WTF COMICBOOK ORIGINS OF BATMAN V SUPERMAN

No matter how grim and somber producers may want the movie to seem, its comic book origins are totally ridiculous. Think of the following comics as the embarrassing parents to Batman V Superman's angry goth kid: (Full Article) http://goo.gl/hMefqt
  1. Bruce Wayne Meets Clark Kent For The First Time ... On A Cruise Ship
    The historic first meeting between the world's greatest superheroes starts with Batman getting undressed with Robin. Not in the Batcave, mind you, but in a bedroom in a mansion that's just filled with other bedrooms one of them could have used.
  2. Superman Meets Wonder Woman, Has Wet Dreams About Her
    Like every single teenager who so much as glanced at Lynda Carter in the '70s, Superman has a dirty dream about Wonder Woman. This is a real scene that was drawn, printed, and distributed to children all over the world.
  3. Superman Goes On Trial For Killing An Innocent Person (Named Clark Kent)
    The whole ridiculous legal snafu comes about when Lois almost catches Clark changing into Superman. Rather than do something that makes any sense at all, Superman pretends to pick a fight with Clark for kissing Lois, like a terrible Off-Broadway one-man show.
  4. Kryptonite Is First Used By A C-List Villain
    On its first appearance, kryptonite wasn't in the possession of Luthor but of another classic Superman enemy: Swami Riva. Who the shit is Swami Riva, you ask? Some hacky fake psychic, kind of like if John Edwards was a comic book villain. To everyone's surprise (including his own), Swami Riva discovers that his bullshit magic spell actually works on Superman.
  5. Most Of Batman And Superman's Fights Are Silly As Hell
    For starters, there's the time Superman is hypnotized and challenges Batman to a pistol duel. When only one of you is bulletproof, this puts the other at a hilarious disadvantage.