THINGS MY WIFE SAYS TO ME ON THE DRIVE HOME

  1. 1.
    I don't understand why you think anyone would ever want to talk about that.
    (Usually because I have introduced sex or bodily functions as a dinner topic.)
  2. 2.
    We need to get new furniture.
  3. 3.
    Stop looking at your phone.
  4. 4.
    Can we stop at In-and-Out Burger?
  5. 5.
    Please don't tell that story about me again.
  6. 6.
    Are you sure you are OK to drive?
  7. 7.
    Give me your phone.
  8. 8.
    I love our family.
  9. 9.
    Wait -- Do we look as old as they do?
  10. 10.
    It is so late.
    (Anytime it is after 11 PM.)