Conversations with my daughter

Actual conversations with my teenage daughter.
  1. Me: There is no privacy in prison. You have a toilet, bed, and desk. Liv: A desk? So you have a work space to make a shiv.
  2. Me: Liv, how do you like my new painting? Liv: That's great dad. You can't even see the numbers
  3. Me: Liv, you're stubborn. Liv: No, I'm not. I know that I'm right and I'm not going to change my mind.
  4. Liv: Hey Dad, did you know that a group of flamingos is a 'flamboyance'? Me: A what? Liv: And a group of pugs is a 'grumble'. Makes you think, doesn't it. Me: You're putting me on.
    Note: I'm never quite sure when she's having me on. But then it comes from years of doing the same thing to her. Where does it end?
  5. Liv's friend: I'm going to be a paediatric surgeon. What are you going to be when you grow up? Liv: A Christmas elf. And I'm going to live in your basement.
  6. Liv: Did you know that when squids get stressed they eat themselves. Pearson (her brother): Where did you get that information? Liv: I have my sources.