HOW TO BE A CONSULTANT

You can tell people are consultants if they're seated comfortably at a wine bar, dressed business casual, and comparing every hotel and rewards program known to man.
  1. Join TSA Pre-Check. The best $85 investment you'll make. Yes, it's the one time YOU have to sacrifice your own money. Then, you can go complain about everyone who doesn't know how to get through security.
  2. Sign up for every airline rewards program so you have the luxury of boarding the plane five minutes earlier than everybody else. I mean, we all want to be seated with 31" legroom for as long as possible, right?
  3. Complain about how $50-$75 a day for food while traveling is too little.
  4. Pick one hotel rewards program and stick to it. Then, argue vehemently with anyone staying at a rival hotel. (Starwood vs. Marriott, anyone? Oh, wait...)
  5. Embrace the consulting jargon. Ex. "Our goal is to think outside the box and leverage our resources to develop a synergized business plan deliverable for you."
  6. Develop a high alcohol tolerance. College should have prepared you. (For non-drinkers like myself, either prepare to have no consulting friends or to be the permanent DD.)
  7. Buy the $8.95 chocolate covered freeze dried strawberries. You'd never do it for yourself anyway.