HOW TO BE A CONSULTANT
You can tell people are consultants if they're seated comfortably at a wine bar, dressed business casual, and comparing every hotel and rewards program known to man.
- •Join TSA Pre-Check. The best $85 investment you'll make. Yes, it's the one time YOU have to sacrifice your own money. Then, you can go complain about everyone who doesn't know how to get through security.
- •Sign up for every airline rewards program so you have the luxury of boarding the plane five minutes earlier than everybody else. I mean, we all want to be seated with 31" legroom for as long as possible, right?
- •Complain about how $50-$75 a day for food while traveling is too little.
- •Pick one hotel rewards program and stick to it. Then, argue vehemently with anyone staying at a rival hotel. (Starwood vs. Marriott, anyone? Oh, wait...)
- •Embrace the consulting jargon. Ex. "Our goal is to think outside the box and leverage our resources to develop a synergized business plan deliverable for you."
- •Develop a high alcohol tolerance. College should have prepared you. (For non-drinkers like myself, either prepare to have no consulting friends or to be the permanent DD.)
- •Buy the $8.95 chocolate covered freeze dried strawberries. You'd never do it for yourself anyway.