I CONQUERED ONE OF MY BIGGEST FEARS THIS WEEK!

  1. For years, I have REFUSED to go to a gym.
  2. Puberty hit me at the tender age of 12, and I went from skinny as a stick to overweight in the matter of months.
    I hated my body.
  3. By college, I had accepted my heavily 🍐 shaped body and learned how to dress it in a way that was comfortable for me.
    Which is now just a lot of dresses. 💃🏽
  4. That includes very rarely letting my legs go bare.
    My legs are covered by leggings or, my latest love, tights, 90% of the time. Another reason being that my thighs chafe when I walk, and it is painful! 😭
  5. Fun fact: I haven't worn a swimsuit since I was 11. 👙☀️
  6. So, I don't work out looking like everybody else.
    I am not in a sports bra and Lululemon pants or Nike shorts; I am in track capris and a loose T-shirt.
  7. Another huge factor is that I am generally not an athletic person.
    I was the kid who faked a stomachache every week in 5th grade to avoid having to find herself one of the last ones to finish a lap around the field. I never played sports or enjoyed working out. P.E. was my nightmare class.
  8. I am still terrified of the looks and feeling of failure as I run a 12-minute mile or miss yet another serve.
    So, if I ever work out (not often because I don't enjoy it), it's in my room with the door closed. 🚪
  9. Last year, thanks to birth control 💊, I gained ~20 pounds in a year.
    Back to the beginning. Where I didn't know what happened to my body and what to do with it.
  10. I'm finally off birth control and able to lose weight normally.
    That extra 20 pounds gave me the motivation to actually try once again to lose weight. With a focus on my thighs, I need to do cardio that I can't do in my room.
  11. So, I decided that it was more important to go to the gym on Monday than worry about being judged.
    It actually wasn't that bad! I guess because it was the gym in my apartment building, people weren't as intense about their workouts and judgments? Anyway, I kind of just ignored everyone around me to the best of my ability and exercised at the slow pace I enjoy.
  12. I'm going back tomorrow. 😁