Light of my life, fire of my loins 💥
  1. Supreme chalupas
    It's like a taco, but with more indigestion
  2. Mountain Dew Baja Blast
    It's like regular Mountain Dew, but with more cocaine
  3. Fire sauce
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    For your fire GI tract
  4. They're not afraid to be radically honest
    Like the time one TB employee told me their "bean hose is clogged"
  5. Their social media presence is 🔥
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  6. I can (and do) eat anything on the menu
    Because it's all the same ingredients arranged in marginally different ways
  7. It's a perfect snack on the go
    If you're driving 85 mph to the closest bathroom
  8. Or you can dine in
    Great proximity to more ground beef, a toilet, and other sad people
  9. It's a great place to get the gang together
    Friends who have rip-roaring diarrhea together, stay together 💖
  10. Or you can eat it alone
    And inhale out of your Taco Bell trough in peace
  11. A great way to weed out the liars
    Anyone who says they don't like Taco Bell is lying to you, themselves
  12. as well as the weak
    Think of it as social Darwinism but for your butthole
  13. They're not afraid to innovate
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    #disrupteverything
  14. TB branding lends itself to a wonderfully filthy wedding theme
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    I hear wedding bells!
  15. The Volcano Menu
    To ignite an eruption in your small intestine
  16. Lava sauce
    going in, just actual lava coming out
  17. The cheesy gordita crunch
    Packs a mighty punch 💩
  18. It's the original juice cleanse
    I'm so sorry